Relationship with Nanny: How to make it lasting and fulfilling

Parents, when deciding to hire a nanny, one of the most important things to do is establish a relationship with them. Believe it or not, nannies play the most important and significant role in your children's lives, next to you. Your children look up to their nanny. They trust them and to your child, your nanny is part of the family.

Because of this, you probably want to avoid switching nannies as much as possible and build a long term relationship with a single nanny. I decided to create a list of "10 things to remember" to help you endure a lasting relationship with your nanny:

#1 Communication. This one should be a give in. Unfortunately, many relationships are severed between nannies and families due to the lack of communication that should be going on. Nobody is ever going to do things exactly how you do it, so be sure to communicate (in a nice way) what needs to be done, your likes/dislikes, etc.

#2 Flexibility. If you have any, you should offer a little bit. The reality surrounding each household and their nanny is that every single one has a unique set of needs. There usually is a lot of grey areas for both of you. Nanny has a course they want to take but it is during the day when the kids are in school. Let her take the class, if it's possible. Why not? She can always stay later or the two of you together can find a way to satisfy both parties involved without it hurting anyone.

#3 Compensation. Pay a fair rate. If you're not sure what a fair rate is, contact an agency in your area and ask them what the going rate is. Further, if you should go out of town on vacation, you should still compensate your nanny. This one is huge. If you think about it, most nannies live paycheck to paycheck. They usually cannot afford to take time off. So, if you go away for 4 weeks out of the year, compensate the nanny if you aren't going to have them work or travel with you. On the bright side, you can also consider this their paid time off each year and have them schedule their holidays around the same time you plan to take yours. Everybody wins.

#4 Benefits. 1-2 weeks paid vacation for a full-time nanny is standard. Paid holidays off or time and a half for all major holidays worked, mainly for full-time employees. Sick days are not required, though given by many families once a level of trust has been established. Health benefits are tax deductible. You don't want your nanny getting sick either and not have health insurance. Take care of her as she takes care of your children.  If you chose NOT to offer any type of benefits, chances are your nanny will leave the position the first opportunity they have.

#5 Nanny Agreement is always a great idea. In the agreement, you can lay out the expectations of the position, agree that there will be annual reviews with possible merit increases; you can outline or address issues such as medications, vacations, house rules, etc. A nanny agreement or nanny contract is a great way to eliminate any confusion or gray areas.

#6 Pay on Payroll. This is essential. While many families do not pay legally, it doesn't make it right. Yes, it may cost more to employ someone legally but it may save you thousands in penalties, if your nanny ever goes to claim unemployment upon her termination. Remember, the IRS will find you guilty until proven innocent.

#7 Annual Merit Increases. You never want to start out at the top end of your budget when hiring a nanny. It is much more important to show your appreciation over time by offering steady annual merit increases, which is a great way to say "Thank You" at the end of the year.

#8 Worker's Compensation. This is prudent to have. In fact, it may already be covered under your homeowners insurance umbrella. However, if not, it is a much smaller price to pay than it would be if your nanny injured herself while on the job...in your home.

#9 Remember the little things are what go a long way. If it's your nanny's birthday and she has to work, try to celebrate her day by having the children make a card or bake her a cake. If you happen to get home early and don't need your nanny, let her go home early that day too. If you ask your nanny to drive her car regularly, pay to have her car maintained annually. It's these little things that show you care, and it will undoubtedly be appreciated.

#10 Say "Please" and "Thank You". Everyone knows that you are the employer and that your nanny is your employee, but there is NO reason you can't appreciate the good help you have when you have it. Nannies are professionals as well and should be treated with respect. A little politeness goes a long way.

There are always exceptions and times where unfortunately, a nanny may not be deserving of such gratitude. But if you are one of those people who find you're in that type of predicament, it's time to find another nanny and follow these rules from the get go! If you do, I would bet your nanny will stay as long as you're willing to have them. Remember, nannies want stability also!